Airports: Modern Day Disasterpieces

31 Mar

Nobody comes back from an airport saying, “Wow, that was a really good experience.”  The waiting through the slow lines of security, the crowds of traveling people, the food (see previous entries).  Airports are modern day disasterpieces.  I reason I say “disasterpiece” is because although airports are a bloody awful mess 11 out of 10 times you go, they do offer an environment which allows some very unique things to happen. 100 people stuffed into a pressurized cabin of joy.  Of course, people do this sort of things every day on buses and trains; but at 30,000 feet, you’re stuck next to your new traveling buddy no matter how fat and stanky, old and senile, or young and obnoxious they are, proving that there are some things worse than death. (Most airlines stopped offering euthanasia in the mid 90’s, along with those little golden wing pins. *nostalgia*) They haven’t stopped offering drinks though.  But the conversation a little different now a days.
Flight Attendant: Would you like any thing to drink?
Passenger: Yes, can I just have some water please?
Flight Attendant: You can purchase some water.  That will be $3.50. Credit or debit only.

Economic recession has made for some very passive aggressive flight attendants.  Not that I’m complaining, it’s just one of those bitter sweet quirks of modern air travel. (without the sweet part) Another one is when they announce, “This flight is a non-smoking flight and the no smoking signs will remain lit throughout our flight.”

I bet you $3.50 that those no smoking signs can’t even turn off.  I’ve never seen them off.
Another airline rule- “No sharp metal objects such as scissors, toenail clippers, etc. All liquids must be placed in a clear zip top bag.”  But there’s no rules against sharp pens filled with ink?  Good thing, because if they didn’t allow pens, this entry would be much more… non existent.

Even with all the shortcomings of air travel today, going to the airport has never been more… interesting.  Where else can you see lines of business people with no shoes on getting felt up by Newark Airport’s finest?  If you decide to fly and turn a blind eye to these seeming inconveniences, you’ll be missing out on some quite interesting stories.

But hey, that’s what I’m here for right?

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2 Responses to “Airports: Modern Day Disasterpieces”

  1. MB April 21, 2009 at 12:55 pm #

    Well, now some airlines when you buy a ticket the seat is not included! It is an extra charge just like your baggage!!! What if you want to stand????? They squeeze every last penny out of you!!!!!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. The Gift of Recieving « The Writings of a Writer - January 5, 2010

    […] For you non-New Jerseyans who don’t know, NJ Transit is a hot mess.  Late trains, conductors with extra loud North Joisey accents, and about a 1:3 drunk to sober passenger ration after 5pm.  But riding the train is so soothing to me, therapeutic almost.  When I’m on the train, I know I’m going to be on it for a set period of time, and I know that there’s only a few options as far as what I can do (anything productive is pretty much out) during this time.  I can listen to music, relax, read, or write, which is actually how I finally got around to writing this post I’ve been meaning to get down for the past two weeks.  I take a subtle comfort in the temporary surrender of control, and with it, the surrender of responsibility and self burden I put on myself to be productive.  It goes back to the same question as in the store when I’m buy something: “Is there something else better I could be doing with my time?”  I should write that blog post, but before I can do that I really should clean up my website, but I shouldn’t do any of that until I’ve cleaned up my apartment a bit. And in the calmness of the train ride, I feel like a child in a sandbox.  Focus and creativity come more easily because my mind isn’t being pulled in dozens of directions about what I could/should be doing.  The train gives me peace of mind or, at least, sets the circumstances for me to receive it.  The calm combined with constantly passing scenery creates, for me at least, a unique writing environment (similar to my previous posts on the airport as a write environment). […]

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