Nobody comes back from an airport saying, “Wow, that was a really good experience.” The waiting through the slow lines of security, the crowds of traveling people, the food (see previous entries). Airports are modern day disasterpieces. I reason I say “disasterpiece” is because although airports are a bloody awful mess 11 out of 10 times you go, they do offer an environment which allows some very unique things to happen. 100 people stuffed into a pressurized cabin of joy. Of course, people do this sort of things every day on buses and trains; but at 30,000 feet, you’re stuck next to your new traveling buddy no matter how fat and stanky, old and senile, or young and obnoxious they are, proving that there are some things worse than death. (Most airlines stopped offering euthanasia in the mid 90’s, along with those little golden wing pins. *nostalgia*) They haven’t stopped offering drinks though. But the conversation a little different now a days.
Flight Attendant: Would you like any thing to drink?
Passenger: Yes, can I just have some water please?
Flight Attendant: You can purchase some water. That will be $3.50. Credit or debit only.
Economic recession has made for some very passive aggressive flight attendants. Not that I’m complaining, it’s just one of those bitter sweet quirks of modern air travel. (without the sweet part) Another one is when they announce, “This flight is a non-smoking flight and the no smoking signs will remain lit throughout our flight.”
I bet you $3.50 that those no smoking signs can’t even turn off. I’ve never seen them off.
Another airline rule- “No sharp metal objects such as scissors, toenail clippers, etc. All liquids must be placed in a clear zip top bag.” But there’s no rules against sharp pens filled with ink? Good thing, because if they didn’t allow pens, this entry would be much more… non existent.
Even with all the shortcomings of air travel today, going to the airport has never been more… interesting. Where else can you see lines of business people with no shoes on getting felt up by Newark Airport’s finest? If you decide to fly and turn a blind eye to these seeming inconveniences, you’ll be missing out on some quite interesting stories.
But hey, that’s what I’m here for right?